Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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