who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I skipped work to stalk him.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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