kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
