sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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