a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
