Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
