I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize