My brain says no but my pants say off.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
