What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
