why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
