he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize