I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize