kristin has been a bad kristin
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
