he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She announced her abortion via fbk
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
