also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
no you cant smoke seaweed
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
