Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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