I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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