I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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