Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
