I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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