her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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