whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
