Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
