I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
did you just send me my own nude
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
