you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
