The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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