He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
