I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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