his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
