the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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