Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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