similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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