On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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