Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
