fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
