tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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