Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
My feet surprised me
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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