So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
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Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
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I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
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