you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
