I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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