I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
