Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
