I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
