He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
