The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
