so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
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I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
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If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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