I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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