No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
