his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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