Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
