he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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