shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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