ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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