he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
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After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
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I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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