just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
