In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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