He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
