The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Randomize
