Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
