New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
