no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I think i got beer on your cat.
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