Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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