Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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